Who'd pick football games eh? Well we would, and so did these guys. Not the best of weeks for our panel of 'experts', but they did their best, and it's not like they're getting paid to... what's that? They're getting PAID for this?

Jesus Christ...

Top Picker of the Week: Chris Mortensen, ESPN, 12-4

The Danish Discerner came into this week just one game behind Seth Wickersham in the overall standings, but Wickers was no match for Mortensen, who used some old-country Hans-Christian Andersen magic to compile a 12-4 record that had some good against-the-grain picks in Seattle, Washington and Kansas City.

Worst Picker of the Week: Jason Beall, Fox Sports, 5-11

Jason Jason Jason. How do you get this many picks wrong? Ask Merill Hoge (4-12 in Week 2) or Les Carpenter and Mike Golic, (3-11 in Week 6) if you like, but the difference is that they were relatively early on in the season and there were a number of big upsets. We're in week 13 now, teams have shown how good and bad they are, so there's no excuse for this. See me after class - actually scrub that, just watch more football and try to pay attention to what the men on the screen are doing next time.

The week 13 'Coin-toss' award:

Keyshawn Johnson, Kurt Warner, Jason La Canfora and Jason Beall all share this award for their baffling pick of the Cardinals to beat the Jets. Warner can have a pass because he probably does it out of some kind of misguided Christian loyalty to 'thy holy payer of millions of dollars', but seriously, the Cardinals could have played for a whole day against the Jets' practice squad and not put up a TD. There is no excuse for picking the Cards at any point where they still have Ryan Lindley playing QB.

The Week 13 Clever-Clogs award:

Adam Schefter and Brian Baldinger share this for their against the grain pick of the Rams to beat the 49ers. Now, I mentioned this on Saturday but that game never looked as nailed on as some experts would have us believe, but at the same time did I have the courage of my convictions? Did I hell. If I did, I'd be sunning myself in Barbados with Rihanna now while swapping jokes about poor people with less betting acumen than myself. For that reason - and also because the image of the 250lb Baldy crushing Rihanna into a sunlounger makes me quite amused - I tip my hat to Schefter and Baldinger.

Top 10 Overall: