*Uh... AWKWARD! So after the good news yesterday about who won the Pickwatch Golden Pick (TM!), now I have to tell you who made a bit of a show of themselves in 2012 and it feels a little bit like telling little Johnny that he's been a bad boy and there are no presents under the tree. And then burning the tree down. *

Picking games is still just fun and I'd like to keep it that way while also getting the point across that yes, people read your expert picks and make judgements based on them. I'd like to think people understand the premise of this site is simply to give people an insight into where they should put their faith from one week to the next, rather than to somehow 'expose' prominent football writers as frauds or something... but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to have an enormous amount of fun at their expense.

In the end, no matter how many people pick, someone is going to lose and someone is going to win. Here's the losers. - Oh, and before I go on, just to call out Matt 'Money' Smith of NFL Network's 'Fantasy Live' crew - not getting your picks in two weeks in a row is automatic disqualification. Sitting on a good score is the hallmark of a loser. Matt 'Crummy' Smith.

Pickwatch Tosser* of the Year 2012: Sterling Sharpe, NFL Network

With a T-shirt like that, there is only one
rational answer to the question: Yes. He is.

Here's the bitterest irony of Sterling's loss: He presents a show called 'Playbook' on NFLN that purports to tell us what the key factors are in each week's matchups, and he's also involved in 'First on the Field', a show that... well you get the idea. Sharpe - more than anyone - should be a reliable source of information for us pickers, but this week was just another disaster in a season full of them. Going 8-8 is mildly forgiveable at the start of the year, but by December everyone should be aiming for double figures at worst. That final week calamity saw Sharpe plummet from a seemingly secure 3 game lead over Kriegel right down to the very bottom, where , in fairness, he resided for almost all of the season.

It's also ironic that with an amazing name like Sterling Sharpe, his predictions were completely blunt this year. Sorry Stirling, you seem like a nice enough guy, but maybe picking isn't for you eh?

* Tosser like 'coin toss'. Ahem.

*Oh, your reward for finishing last? *

Imagine someone shaved a hippo, now imagine that hippo was sexually frustrated and liable to cause a gruesome injury to anyone it mated with? Yes, that would still be preferable to your prize: One Night with Susan Boyle. I've managed to pacify SuBo by hiding tranquillisers in the ground meat I shovel into her cage every morning** and she shouldn't cause much of a problem on the plane, but I would definitely DEFINITELY recommend you follow the opening instructions carefully. Let's just say the phrase 'open other end' has never been so crucial...

** She's on a diet
Dishonourable Mentions: Mark Kriegel (NFL AM) and Dan Hanzus (NFL.com)

'Uncle Jack' Kriegel and 'Wandering' Hanzus complete our bottom 3 (OF DOOM) and again Kriegel probably deserved to finish last or second-last after a very poor year. Hanzus is a different story, having plummeted 5 spots at the last moment with an 8-8 score after a year generally spent in the bottom 10. Even an average score of 11 would have kept Hanzus in 52nd place where he had been just one week earlier, but that's the nature of 'The Wanderer' I guess, he never stays in one place for too long...

Just thank the lord (or whoever, Obama or someone) that animal protection laws prevent me sending any 'prizes' your way. They really screwed me with the minimum cage sizes.

Here's the 'Rear end', the 'Hall of Shame', the 'Creme de la Crap'... The Bottom 10 basically. If you're on it, don't run from me, it'll only make next year even worse!*

Well that's the top and bottom done, I'll update the overall Pickwatch table to include everyone else, then I'll also be doing Wild Card Picks tonight because hallelujah, there's a whole Pickwatchplayoffleague to do! Huzzah good fellows, and adios for now.

* I have no idea what I mean by this yet AT ALL.